I'm feeling a bit better about what I previously referred to as 'memory problems'. I put it in inverted commas because being unable to remember something is not necessarily a 'problem'. Also it isn't 'remembering' I'm having trouble with, but recalling.
Remembering is a two part process, the storing and the retrieving. I'm having no problem storing the information, but some problems retrieving it.
I'm not sure how worried to be. I mean, for a while now I've been feeling like I will start to decline early, especially mentally. I mean, I was always very mature growing up and that wasn't really a good thing. I could easily pass for 18 when I was 16 and get served in pubs without getting IDed. So, I feel like for the same reasons I might start declining mentally earlier than most too. Not this early I admit.
It could easily just be a phase. That things could improve if I move out, maybe get a job and/or a girlfriend, that I could then feel better and thus perform better mentally. I've also been saying for a while that my mental peak was at about 14, so I'm 17 years past that now. I mean I know and I understand a Hell of a lot more than when I was 14, but I think for pure processing power that was my peak. In fact what was always my strength, my ability to concentrate, is now my biggest weakness. Perhaps second biggest behind the anxiety attacks.
Hoopwise, hooping has taken over from juggling right now. There's no circus society now until the 26th of January. No way. It's so hard for me to be motivated when it's cold outside and I'm not juggling with other jugglers. I've done like five hours hooping this week.
I'm doing a 'stress management' course, six weeks, about an hour per week (with a break, about 1hr 10). Of course I suffer with anxiety, not stress, but basically the idea is that stress causes anxiety, therefore it's relevant to me. It's going okay, I would say it doesn't suit me. It understandably seeks to combat common stress and anxiety problems. Mine are atypical, or at least they seem to be from what little I know. It's not about comparing myself to others, it's about treatment. Uncommon problem, harder to know how to treat it.
I'll review the course when I've done all of it. Two weeks to go, I missed the first week but I have the handout from it.