I've taken an age to get round to this. And I'm going to say why and then make it relevant.
A couple of things, one is that I'm usually pretty busy (though not always) and most of my free time in front of the computer is on facebook or watching old tennis videos on YouTube. In fact I've just finished the 2011 Australian Open final, moving on next to the 2011 Wimbledon finally. I'm yet to find any US or French Open finals on YouTube, though I've seen quite a lot of Wimbledon and Australian Open ones. In fact all the Wimbledon finals since 2003.
Also I have a lot of trouble concentrating on anything involving reading or writing. This is where it starts getting relevant.
I've left Citizen's Advice Bureau. I didn't see it coming.
Edit: I couldn't even finish this blog post in one go, I've had to save it and come back to it.
But anyway, I didn't realize how academic the qualification was going to be. In fact, I didn't even realize I was going to be doing an academic course at all. It wasn't what I thought I'd signed up for at all. So I was disappointed and I think it would have been in their best interests to say what the course involved, I can't imagine any scenario where it wouldn't be.
The issue really was concentration. I can probably concentrate for about 30 minutes before I need a 30 minute break. So again I've learned something from a voluntary job, something useful, but what I've learned is jobs not to apply for because I won't be able to do them. It's not all that long ago I was applying for admin jobs!
I think in fairness, applying for admin jobs in 2010-2011 it was quite different back then, because I could concentrate for a lot longer. It's a bit worrying in one sense. People might think I'm joking when I talk about early onset dementia. Well I'm not. I mean not now but, y'know, the way my life has gone I wouldn't be at all surprised if I was suffering with dementia at 40.
So after saying in 2012 it would never happen again, I'm not ESA (Employment and Support Allowance). I think sadly it's the right choice as with the panic attacks, lack of concentration, early onset of tiredness there's no job I could actually get and retain.
It's the two issues; getting a job in the first place, then retaining it. I discovered in 2013 that 20 hours a week at something I was good at and enjoyed was beyond my limits.
That's it really. So, no good news. I mean, I'm fine, my pride is hurt, but a bruised ego's not the worst thing in the world.